“Can you really lead a school while raising children—alone or with a co-parent?”
It’s a question I never expected to ask myself. But here I am, with lunchboxes in one hand and governor reports in the other, trying to figure it all out.
This is a story I hear often—from colleagues, friends, and from my own inner voice at 10:45 p.m. when the house is finally quiet. Headship is all-consuming. Parenting is relentless. Doing both? At times, it feels like tightrope walking in a gale.
And yet, here’s the truth: it’s possible.
Not always gracefully. Not always in balance. But possible.
Life in the Headteacher Lane
Being a headteacher means holding space for everyone—pupils, staff, families, governors, even inspectors. We navigate safeguarding decisions, strategic plans, budget constraints, and broken boilers. But when the school day ends, there’s no off switch.
At home, our own children need us too—emotionally, practically, and sometimes just to sit nearby while they tell us, in painstaking detail, about their day.
When you're parenting solo or co-parenting, the pressure is magnified.
There’s no one else to do the 9 p.m. bake sale dash.
No one to step in when the SLT meeting overruns.
No shared logistics when the childcare plan unravels at 7:30 a.m.
It’s a constant juggling act. And yes, sometimes the balls drop.
The Power of Honest Conversations
What’s helped me survive—and occasionally even thrive—has been honest connection.
Not advice from policy documents or leadership handbooks, but real stories from real leaders.
Spaces like Headteacher Chat Community matter for exactly this reason. It’s not curated or performative. It’s truthful, messy, and supportive.
Because let’s face it:
The DfE isn’t publishing a guide called “How to Run a School When Your Six-Year-Old Has Chickenpox and Your Deputy Is Off Sick.”
But other headteachers will tell you. They’ll message you late at night. They’ll share how they’ve managed (or not managed), what’s worked, and what they’ve quietly let go of.
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about solidarity.
Redefining Success
I’ve learned—sometimes the hard way—to define success differently.
It’s not always about meeting SIP targets or boosting attendance.
Sometimes success is:
- Getting both your children and the Year 6 cohort through the week without tears
- Saying no to a late meeting—and meaning it
- Letting fish fingers happen. Again. Without guilt.
We often talk in education about modelling resilience. But resilience isn’t silent endurance. Sometimes it’s about being visibly human. Letting others—our staff, our pupils, even our children—see that we’re doing our best, not doing it all.
We can do hard things. Just not all at once. And not without support.
Final Thoughts
So, is it possible to be a parent and lead a school at the same time?
Yes.
But not without community.
Not without boundaries.
And not without a good dose of grace—for ourselves and everyone else.
If you’re reading this and feeling like you’re the only one spinning all the plates—you’re not.
We see you. We are you.
Let’s keep talking. Let’s keep showing up for each other. And let’s not forget:
You’re doing a brilliant job—even on the days it doesn’t feel like it.
Want to connect with others navigating leadership and parenting?
Join the conversation inside the Headteacher Chat Community.
You’ll find shared stories, practical resources, and honest support from people who understand.
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